Yesterday was the day most defining day in my life and yet it passed as though it was just like any other.
I have no idea how it happens but every year for as long as I can remember I only remember it was the anniversary of my dad’s death the day after.
Same thing happened again this year.
Over the years I’ve gotten used to the fact that I don’t have a father anymore but I still miss him (almost) every day. I believe that I have become a totally different person since that day which I wished had never happened, at least not when it did.
As there is still so much unprocessed pain and grief I’m planning to finally find a grieving councilor to see if I s/he can help me tear down the emotional defenses I’ve have started to built up as a fortress around my heart since that day in 1984.
(Abandoned graveyard in Auxais, France. Copyright Grisnoir)